As you may have read in my comments from my original post, Shaun found my new lj and found out about Dave. We had a long talk early this morning and I gave him closure. He told me he wasn't fully attracted to me anymore because I've gotten fat, that really hurt. I knew it was the case and I'm glad he was honest. It's just I feel so ugly now. He wants me back but I can't go back. I won't be happy waiting another 4 or 5 years. I know I probably sound selfish, but as he had always told me, he always wanted me to be happy. I just feel so incredibly guilty. But I need to do what's right. I had a session with my new counselor yesterday. He told me I did the right thing. But I feel like an awful person. I feel so empty and lost. :(